My Worst FO: The Gigantic Stocking

Tuesday, September 11, 2007
For Secret Pal 11 my group has been asked to post our worst knitting disaster ever. Mine is still sitting on the sweater box at the foot of my bed, taunting me with its ginormousness. It is, in theory, a Christmas stocking.
I love many things about this stocking: I love the patterning, I love the density of the felting, I love the rippled cuff, and I love how easy the heel was to make (it was an "afterthought" heel). I do not love the fact that I broke a needle on it, and have yet to replace that needle.

I particularly do not love the fact that the leg comes up to my knee, but the foot is too short for my foot (and I am tall but with little feet). Perhaps following a pattern and knitting/felting a gauge swatch would have been wise...

It was knit for my DH - who, of all the people in the family, is the only one without a handmade stocking - to make him feel special. Special, yes. Dunno if that's a good thing. He swears he loves it, and seems to think that "Santa" will bring him more stuff - honestly, do men grow up ever? - and thus refuses to let me throw it out and start over.
I'm strongly thinking of slicing it up the back, cutting out the excess, and seaming it back together. Like liposuction, but for knitting. Stitchosuction? Yarnosuction? Wolliesuction? But I just can't pick up the scissors and do it. This sucker took me a long time to knit, and a lot of yarn. And no, I can't just felt it some more. Why? Because that wouldn't help, and we're in a drought so I can't spare the water.

It's looking like my mother may be cross-stitching a stocking for the DH. So sad.

I should mention that the reason he doesn't have a childhood stocking is that his childhood stocking was a plaster cast of his foot/leg that his dad - orthopedist, mayherestinpeace - made for him as a young boy. And yes, I mean a cast - the kind you'd put on a broken leg, not the cutesy kind you make of your kids' first shoes. Apparently that funky smell that used plaster casts have? Old, unused ones have it too!)


  • S/V Maeve

    Oh my. It's more -er- interesting than I imagined! At least he knows how much love went into it.

    In the spirit of Penguin Foot Chowder, I offer pattern "Penguin 578" at this site.

  • KT

    You did try to warn me about it... I'm amused by the skating penguin! But seriously, he loves the giant one, I just don't understand why!

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